I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Consumed by what I wanted, unable to let go.
Lost somewhere is what I know.
Catastrophe created through what I believe.
I am eating away at myself from the inside.
Devouring my sanity little by little,
until all that is left is a weeping, frightened, devastated little thing.
Barely a speck of dust, wondering if that will ever be enough.
Fretting that, no, it couldn’t possibly ever be.
There isn’t even energy left within to feed, to sleep, to nurture its brokenness.
For false Gods have left me where I stand.
Abandoning me in the place they led me to;
even as they pretended they took me toward salvation.
The lies, the betrayal: I can’t even give them credit for.
They never had power.
They never had anything.
Not until it was taken from those they fooled.
Those Gods that stole my power, stole my right.
Stole all of me; claiming that what I gave them was faith.
That they didn’t really need what they were taking.
That it was I who needed to give it.
To prove myself… When I was the only thing that was real.
There is a Hell.
We put ourselves in it.
We punish, and punish until we have nothing left but doubt.
That is my God, that is my truth.
No more. NO!
I will be my own deity.
I will make my own choices.
Through that I will, hopefully, find my Heaven.