Sharing the Error of My Ways Through Word

Age Is Only A State Of Mind; How Old Do You Want Me To Be?

Yes, I admit it, I stole the sentence for the title to this blog from one of my favorite musicals “The Chorus Line.”  So, what’s it all about?  I am now officially forty years old!

Ouch.   Continue reading “Age Is Only A State Of Mind; How Old Do You Want Me To Be?”


Goodbye, Dream.

When you have a hold of something that once seemed impossible in a way that becomes unbearable to let go at the point when everything crumbles beneath you; it ruins you.  Continue reading “Goodbye, Dream.”

My Daughter’s More Than That!!!

The other day I was looking at a picture of my daughter.  She’s the most amazing individual to me.  She makes me laugh; she makes others laugh.  She can run forever.  She loves everyone.  She can draw pictures with a magical talent I would never possess myself.  Continue reading “My Daughter’s More Than That!!!”

The Folly of Being Agreeable

You know the feeling.  The one where you think that if you say what you really want to; the thing that is actually true in your heart; that you’ll hurt someone’s feelings. Continue reading “The Folly of Being Agreeable”

Speck Of Dust

I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Consumed by what I wanted, unable to let go.
Lost somewhere is what I know.
Catastrophe created through what I believe.
I am eating away at myself from the inside. Continue reading “Speck Of Dust”

The Growing Parent

To hear their laughter, to see their smiles.  The quiet serenity at the end of a summer day.  The joy that my children bring me is more than I could ever have imagined as I carried them and dreamed…

Source: The Growing Parent

The Nonadvantageous

So, in a moment, I found everything that I had ever dreamed of.  It was right there in front of me.  Alive!  I felt joy.  I felt fear.  I felt almost every possible crazy emotion that you can feel when you are presented with the very thing that you have always wanted.  The joy that it actually existed.  The fear that I would lose it.  Some things, however, are shown to you in a glimpse and then you are told that you’re not ready, or the thing isn’t ready.  In essence, the timing is just miserably wrong.

How do you get through that?  How do you plead to the Universe that you are ready and that you will cherish it with a fervor that this beautiful thing deserves?  How do you accept that the Universe knows more than you and can determine these things?  Can the Universe be wrong?  Perhaps, you were wrong in your belief that what you had found was your true desire.  I’m not sure.  That is the path I am on right now.  I am reeling with so much confusion and a profound sadness laced with desperation.  I have found a few quotes that have helped me through this time. Words like: “The secret to happiness is letting everything be the way it is, instead of the way you think it should be.” or “Always believe that something amazing is about to happen.”  I tell myself they help. Really though, I have no clue what I am doing.

I would like to think that I have a way with words, but in this circumstance my words have failed me. That starts me to feeling inadequate and pitiful.  I don’t like feeling that way.  I don’t enjoy thinking that I am “less than”.   I despise the struggle that I am experiencing so quickly after believing that I was finally arriving somewhere.  So, this is me, again. Putting these things out there.  I began this blog as a therapy for myself.  The therapy continues.  Until next time, enjoy the error of your ways.

Do You Ever?

Do you ever aspirate your food and nearly die?  I do.  More frequently than I would like to admit.  I always feel so accomplished when I manage to know that it’s about to happen, and expel it, saving myself from an embarrasing coughing fit to dislodge said food from the entrance to my esophagus.  Sometimes I aspirate it so hard that it ends up inside my nose, and I have to sneeze it out.  Perhaps this is oversharing, but I know I’m not the only one.

….not enjoying the error of my ways… on this one!

This Is The Secret

To live and be happy.
A promise from an invisible being.
A tip of the hat from the man in the moon;
that could be made of cheese.

To love and be loved.
This is the hope of every lonely heart.
A whisper that you make to yourself
each night before you go to sleep.

To hope and raise yourself higher.
A conquest from the day we are born.
Naked and naïve, we are expected to
become something beheld in only their eyes.

To be perfect and immortal.
These words written on an empty slate.
Follow the rules and never sway;
With no mud on your jeans from a life well lived.

So what is the secret?
Perhaps there isn’t one.

To simply exist and be who you are meant to be.
Unraveling the lies that have been thoughtlessly
tossed your way from the moment you could be taught.

Be grace, be patience, be kind.
Find joy in the simplest of lines.
The ones that are the easiest, yet most difficult to find.
Hidden in front of your very eyes.

Be your own beautiful.



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